Sunday, April 28, 2013

Fruit vs Vegetables

My father is returning home today after a lovely weekend visit. As usual, we went to breakfast before his four-hour drive back to Western Nebraska. And, since his small town is short on culinary variety, we always hit the nearby breakfast buffet.

Breakfast for me usually consists of some eggs and bacon, a waffle, a sticky cinnamon roll, and whatever else looks good enough to eat that morning. Today I had: honeydew melon, pineapple, watermelon, grapes, a blueberry muffin, and a waffle with strawberry syrup (with actual strawberries in it). Notice what's missing from that list? Before you forget the title of this post and jump straight to protein, let me give you the answer: not one vegetable.

I am most definitely a fruit person. Given the choice between fresh fruit and fresh vegetables, I will almost always choose the fruit (with the possible exception of tomatoes, which are technically fruit, not vegetables, so there you go). When I'm at the grocery store, I spend time wandering through the fruit and looking at the apples, strawberries, and grapes, among others, and (unless I have a list) very little time contemplating the vegetables. If you look in my refrigerator right now (which I don't recommend!), you will find fruit, but no veggies.

Why is this, I wonder. Is it because fruit is usually sweet and vegetables are not? Could be, but that doesn't really explain why I prefer green apples over red and green grapes to purple, i.e., the sour versions over the sweet. But even a Granny Smith apple is sweeter than broccoli which, in its natural state, is bitter and (let's be honest) boring. I prefer to eat broccoli that is really hot but still a little crunchy (or pureed and mixed into a thick, cheesy broth).

The fact is, I like fruit fresh and vegetables cooked. I rarely eat a plain, raw vegetable. I'm not opposed to vegetable juice, but there better be some fruit in there to sweeten it up and make it not taste like dirt. I don't like spring mix "lettuce" because it's like eating weeds. There are few "greens" I can tolerate, some of which have to be cooked (like kale) and others which absolutely must not be cooked (like spinach). Carrots are OK in small doses, cooked or raw. Celery is boring without something on it, like dip or cheese or peanut butter. Cauliflower? Boring. Brussels sprouts? Yuck. Asparagus? Boring and Yuck (and irritatingly popular).

So, I'm not sure what any of this means to my general health and well-being, but I'm pretty sure that my sister will have a thing or two to tell me about why I need to alter my preferences to include more leafy greens and other fibrous and antioxidant-filled veggies. And I might try, but the fact is that I'm a fruit eater (unless, of course, the fruits are too health beneficial - don't get me started on everything I don't like about bananas and coconut!).

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

The Invisalign Diet

This morning, I got my new Invisalign braces. The dentist put several little hard "buttons" on my teeth that the "aligners" snap onto. They feel really weird. They're like little mounds of resin attached to my teeth. I am learning, as I eat lunch, that food gets stuck to them really easily. I fear I am about to become one of those weirdos who brushes her teeth at work. Oh, the horror!

What's so "diety" about them? It's this... You cannot eat anything while you're wearing them. Nothing. Nothing. And these suckers don't just pop in and out like a retainer (said the girl who's never worn a retainer). They are tightly formed to your teeth, and it takes some work to get them in and out. The dental hygienist, who also has Invisalign braces, said this morning, "Yeah, I schedule my snacks." So, for the next 60 weeks of my life, there will be no casual munching, no impulse sweets (the cookie I got from a coworker this morning is still sitting here mocking me!), and no "I'll just have a quick bite" meals (nothing quick about eating for me now!). It seems pretty clear that my eating habits are going to be greatly altered.

I have to wear the aligners for, ideally, 22 hours a day. That leaves two combined hours for eating, and for the food-addicted, that's not much.

Interestingly, this also means it will be very difficult for me to eat at my desk because, quite frankly, it takes too long. Plus I don't think I really want to be digging around in my mouth while I'm sitting at my desk. I imagine it won't be a very pretty sight.

Eating my cookie now. Mmmmm...

So, it's going to be strange, at least for a while, but I think it'll be good for me. The thing that's going to be the most difficult to get used to? I also can't drink anything (but water) while wearing them! Forget the casual munching. No more casual wine drinking? That's gonna be hard!

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Emotions & Food

We have phrases like "comfort food," commercials that show people getting relief from a hard day with any number of foods, and encouragement from numerous sources to use food to soothe, especially children. Retail food producers use words like "bliss," "love," "joy," and of course, "comfort" to appeal to women. Messages of fun are used on kids, and anger, violence, and machismo target men. Consider Burger King's "Angry Whopper" and T.G.I. Fridays' "Brownie Obsession." Foods of all kinds are marketed to trigger an emotional response, along with or instead of a physical response. It's not good enough to say what makes the food delicious. In fact, many ads don't even mention the taste. It is enough to see a beautiful woman sensuously eating chocolate, a family laughing together over a quick and easy boxed meal, or a WWE wrestler flexing and shouting about a processed meat stick. What do we learn from these ads? We learn that food can make you relaxed, happy, content, beautiful, tough, cool, fun, and so on. We learn that food is about feelings, not nourishment.

Why does any of this matter? Because it creates a culture in which food is a mood enhancer and ego booster. Because it produces people who become emotionally addicted to food. Because it urges people to seek solace in something that may later make them feel disgusting (emotionally and physically). Because it obliterates the line between "eating to live" and "living to eat." When food is more connected to how we feel emotionally than physically, everything goes to hell.

And in America, we don't just stress the quality of the food, we also focus on the quantity. Every other restaurant ad touts how large the portions are, as if that's all that matters. Places like Joe's Crab Shack serve many items in buckets, and although they aren't usually filled from the bottom up, they give the illusion of a great deal of food. And that's a selling point. Considering how bombarded we are with large amounts of food as the commonplace, it's no wonder how many people don't know when to stop eating – especially when they're self-medicating with food. As children, we're overstimulated with food that (mostly) well-intentioned parents use as a distraction or a reward. Take a good long look in your grocery store's cereal and snack aisles. The number of offerings that provide any real nutritional value is overwhelmingly low. We have Kellogg's and Pillsbury fighting over which one has the better toaster pastry, neither of which is good for you on any conceivable level.

So what do those foods offer? Fun. Convenience. Happiness. Friendship (so easy to share!).

The revolving door of self-pity and self-hate that chronic overeaters experience comes from the use of food to numb the pain and feeling even worse because they ate all that food. But food is supposed to make you feel better, isn't it? That's the pervasive message that's beaten into us day after day. Food is love. Food is success. Food is sex. Food is wonderful. And some of it even tastes good.

Here's something you may not know: The fanciful copy that you find on packaged food, the copy that tells you why the food is so great, is called romance copy. 'Nough said.